


Separate but United

by Merfilly



Series: Padawan Plight [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Friendship/Love, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 07:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8658628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: The padawans return to their masters, and each finds their thoughts turning in similar tracks.





	

"Ready to get back to work, Snips?"

Ahsoka tore her eyes from Barriss, wondering if he would leave her here, if she said 'no'. The men needed her, though, and everyone knew she was doing wonders for Skyguy. Or at least she did, and that was important enough. "I guess so, Master." She looked back one more time at Barriss who was standing with Luminara and Vokara while the two women spoke briefly. 

Barriss looked over, and she smiled, just a little, which made Ahsoka light up and walk with a bounce in her step alongside the man that had personally come to get her.

+++

Ten days with Ahsoka, letting the concept of true friendship settle into her soul, had done wonders for Barriss's depression concerning the war. She didn't agree, at all, that there wasn't a better path to be found, but she could better understand why the Jedi were where they were, in the effort.

"Barriss, are you ready to rejoin me, or did you wish to remain here to study?" Luminara asked it of her as Vokara was walking away from them.

The dutiful answer was that she preferred to go with her master, Barriss knew. She was even touched because, like Skywalker, her Master had personally come to retrieve her. A quiet part of her mind tried to suggest Vokara had made them do so, or that there had been other business requiring both of them in the Temple that coincided with the girls being released from the healers' care.

"I do not want to inconvenience you for having made the trip here, Master," Barriss began.

"It is not one, padawan. Quite the contrary; I was looking forward to seeing how you were doing for myself," Luminara told her sincerely.

The emotions that had been gaining more footing inside her heart pricked with something unfamiliar, something not terribly unlike what Ahsoka made her feel with the quiet touches on her hand, but differently shaded. 

Barriss looked at the woman in the face, saw the signs of weariness and made her choice. "A compromise, then, between my wishes to study, and my knowledge that duty requires us to be with our men?"

Luminara looked quite surprised, even as a new light entered her eyes. Was it because she had claimed the vod'e they led as hers? It must have been.

"Go ahead, Barriss," her master encouraged.

"May we stay a night, in our quarters here, to allow me time to download more training programs on data pads to carry back with us? Or must you be back immediately?"

Luminara gave her a quiet smile. "Commander Gree has matters well in hand, and they have Master Yoda for assistance, if it is needed. If you permit, and guide me, I can assist with loading the data pads."

Barriss responded with a smile of her own, finding a peace in the idea that maybe Ahsoka was right. Maybe she should open up more to the woman and forge a better relationship.

+++

Luminara Unduli was a woman that had been motivated her entire life to be the best at what she could do. It was not out of arrogance, a need to be better than anyone, but out of an undying sense of duty to her fellow beings of the galaxy. If she did not meet her full potential, she could not rise to meet every need that evolved within her abilities.

In the earliest years of their partnership, she had thought Barriss Offee shared that drive for the same reasons. However, she had failed to account for Barriss's different background. The younger Mirialan had been born after the war on their planet had begun, and that had left an imprint on the young Force sensitive, even if she had come to the Temple as an infant, rescued to be raised as a Jedi.

Vokara Che's quiet monitoring of the pair of padawans had provided insight, through their separate therapy sessions, that had provided the morsel upon which Luminara had begun to chew, seeing that psychic scarring. Strong Force users could recall far more of their development than others. Their people, in general, were far more connected to one another and the Force connecting them to begin with.

Perhaps, if Luminara had glimpsed it earlier, she would have broke with tradition and allowed another Knight to take the girl, preferably one that was already devoted to healing. But she had not, and therefore now had to adjust to the insights earned by these therapy sessions.

That Barriss had requested a delay in returning, so that she could both do her duty and still study, was a step in a good direction, so far as Luminara was concerned. However, there were further steps that needed to be taken, and Luminara stood from her seat in the Archives, walking around the table to rest her hand lightly on Barriss's shoulder, having been certain the girl was beginning to get lost in the latest text she had downloaded.

"Master?" the girl asked, and this time Luminara was looking and could see the fear of having done wrong.

"I think you have enough study material, as I will allow you to break off from your duties to come back for testing and more," Luminara said warmly. "Let us go put your data pads in our quarters, and then acquire food together."

Barriss's confusion reinforced the lessons Luminara was taking to heart. The girl did not expect anything out of Luminara but duty. The elder Mirialan did not want to consider how poorly that was sitting in her heart, but it did further her resolve to change Barriss's impression of her.

"You do not have to, Barriss, but I would enjoy sharing your company," Luminara said in a gentle voice.

"I… I think I wish to share yours as well, Master," she said softly. "Thank you."

+++

Barriss had surprisingly enjoyed herself. Her master had taken her out of the Temple to a quiet establishment that catered to Mirialans. They had shared a meal, with Luminara encouraging her to try new specialties, sharing a bit of her own preferences in food. Conversation had been about healing, future studies, and… Ahsoka.

 _"Cultivate that friendship, my padawan. Their line has very volatile members, and has produced some of the most flawed Jedi in centuries, yet… they do tend to be the most insightful in the ways of the Force as well."_ Luminara had then smiled, and there had been a faint laugh in her next words. _"That sounded quite mercenary. It is as much for themselves, as those insights, that it is a good reason to maintain ties with them."_

_"Is that why you insisted we were going to Geonosis, even though I knew you had not fully healed from Ansion?"_

_"Yes, Barriss. Obi-Wan may be younger than I, but I value his friendship, and knew he would have done the same for me."_

Now Barriss was lying awake in her bed, considering that they would be returning to the frontlines in the morning. So much had changed in such a short time. Would she be able to meet the needs? Could she redefine her interactions with the troopers in such a way as to do what Ahsoka said was needed? Could she see the unwelcome task of leading them as a guardianship?

She would do all she could, and hope she was half as strong as her younger friend. Her thoughts turned toward Ahsoka, and she felt that curious pull on her psyche all over again, the one that made her wish to keep the girl safe, sheltered, and close at all times. Was this a side-effect to opening to the deeper levels of friendship? Was that why she rarely had a moment when Ahsoka was not in her thoughts?

Barriss's eyes closed, as image of her hand and Ahsoka's entwined reminded her of their last night alone, falling asleep together on the couch rather than separate. The image brought peace, and shortly after, there was sleep.

+++

Ahsoka was restless as she prowled the ship, looking for something to distract her from the whirlwind in her mind. She was certain that Barriss was going to be fine, that they had established a solid friendship. She hadn't wanted to push it past that, no matter that she was very much growing far more aware of the way her body reacted to the older girl. Ahsoka had been smart enough to know that Barriss, who had rejected friendship at first, was not going to understand the difference between physical comfort and actual love.

Ahsoka wasn't one hundred percent sure she was making that distinction in her own mind well enough. She felt a deep, abiding need to see to Barriss's emotional welfare, and worried over her physical safety now that they were separated. The younger girl was certain that this was a separate concern from the way she also wanted to peel the layers of clothing back and explore the green skin, touch it the way she sometimes touched herself to calm the blood racing inside her.

"Snips?"

Ahsoka blinked as her master loomed in the passage she was exploring, her eyes going narrow that she just happened to run into him when she was this restless? He noted the expression and spread his hands wide. 

"Fives was worried when you left command. Said you seemed out of sorts."

That melted Ahsoka's irritation; of course the boys were looking out for her. She hadn't joined a card game or a drill in the three days she'd been back, focusing instead on her training. "Sorry, Master. I shouldn't be so rude to you."

"Hey, it's not rude to snap back at your privacy being intruded on," Anakin reassured her. "But, you look like you need something. Is that talking or sparring? Both, if you're good enough?"

She gave a snort at him, then moved to wrap her arms around his waist, vaguely noting that her head came up higher on his chest than from the first time she had hugged him. He jerked, startled, then brought his arms down to hug her back.

"Thanks, Skyguy," she said softly. "For being… you. For accepting me, even when you really didn't want to."

Anakin's arms tightened on her. "I can't imagine not having you in my life now, Ahsoka," he told her. "But I'm as worried as the men about you. I thought you were supposed to be in the Temple to work past your issues?"

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, and moved to his side so they could walk back toward their quarters. "I didn't actually have any issues? Even Master Che had to admit that I'd worked through it all pretty well."

"Then why are you so unsettled?" Anakin asked her outright.

Ahsoka worried at her lip, then looked up at her master. "I'm worried about Barriss. She doesn't have the same kind of relationship with her master, and she's kind of struggling with the war, and everything it means for the Jedi."

Anakin put his hand along her shoulder, careful of the lengthening lek at the back of her head. "Your worry is a credit to your heart, Ahsoka, but ultimately, Barriss is going to have to make her own way, choose who she wishes to be in the confines of the Order and all that means for us right now. I've known her and Master Luminara a long time, and I think her master is more aware of the problem than Barriss realizes."

"You think so, Skyguy?"

He smiled reassuringly at her. "I didn't want to let you go to the Temple, to be honest, Snips. If you were having problems, I wanted to help you work through them. But Master Luminara specifically asked me to allow it, for Barriss's sake. She knows her padawan was having a difficult time, even before Point Rain."

Ahsoka felt a rush of relief come over her at hearing that. "I don't understand why so many people have so much trouble just being open and working through their emotions, Skyguy."

Anakin gave a short, bitter laugh. "I can't help you there, Snips, but I'm always here to listen to you, if you need to work through something."

"I know." She gave him a sideways hug, letting him guide her home to their quarters, more at peace with Barriss and her master's relationship.

She hoped she'd given Barriss enough confidence to start crafting who she was meant to be, but Skyguy was right. Ultimately, it was up to the other girl.


End file.
